weapons

It's a dang good thing I don't have any tonight, because I am feeling extremely lethal.
I don't feel like putting up with anything.
Least of all the terrible headache that is flooding my brain.
I haven't felt this angry in quite some time, and I want to hurt everyone who has ever said a wrong thing to me.

Now, I'm not saying this acceptable behavior... nor will I act upon it.... but I sure would like to.

I was extremely crushed last night when I got the email from the vet's office saying I didn't get the job. I cried, a good bit too.
Oh my gosh, yes, I cried.
I do feel doubly hopeless today and didn't put much effort into anything.
In fact, I only read like 2 chapters in Harry Potter 4 all day, which might be a record for those of you who know how much I read.

This morning I decided to email the lady from the vet and ask her for the reasons on why I wasn't hired. She was very obliging, and sent me an email back with several reasons.
1. I wasn't 'vibrant and outgoing' enough.
2. She said animals can sense fear, and so they wouldn't want someone who was fearful. (*confused look from me*)
3. She said I shouldn't have worn jeans to the working interview.

Now, I hate to be mean, but REALLY???!! Those seem like slightly dumb reasons to me, but whatever.
I am quite used to nothing working out in my life, and this is no exception.

Steph found out that there is a new Four Seasons opening downtown. They are hiring all kinds of positions. So, I guess I'll go down there, turn in my application that has absolutely no reason on it why they should hire me, and wait for them to maybe be considerate enough to at least contact me and say I didn't make the cut. I'm getting pretty good at this....

I don't know what I hate more: Having tons of jobs available, but not enough experience to land any of them... or having no jobs to choose from.
It might be equally sucky.

I am crumbling under the effects of having no where to go and no one to hang out with. I love my sister and I love my Lindsey, but they do get overwhelming. I'm sure I'm very overwhelming to them too... and I do feel a constant burden on whoever is unlucky enough to put up with me.
No wonder I have such a hard time finding and keeping decent friends.

Oh goodness, I'm ranting. I should probably stop, and go to bed or something.
Maybe I'll go grab my Harry Potter book and immerse myself in a world that I would give anything to make real.

I miss my bedroom. I miss my family. I really miss my dog. I miss Meagan. And I miss the days when I was a carefree little girl, playing that I could go to Narnia through a portal in my backyard....